It’s Not Your Fault: A Workbook for Parents of Offenders, by Cay Shea-Hellervik

“As a parent, you could spend years blaming yourself, asking yourself why your child is engaging in criminal activity. Don’t waste your time figuring out who, why, or what is to blame. What matters is moving forward.”

Excerpt from It’s Not Your Fault: A Workbook for Parents of Offenders, by Cay Shea-Hellervik on Amazon.com

In her book, the author offers practical tools and support to parents of juvenile offenders, based on her firsthand experience working with youth. The book outlines specific techniques that help parents identify and help their child change the anti-social thinking of their child.

Those practical tools include:

  • Your own assessment questionnaire for determining whether your child may be transitioning into criminal thinking and behavior;
  • The film, “Dead Wrong-The John Evans Story”;
  • Academic, chemical dependency, error in thinking assessment;
  • How to create and utilize a Change Process Team that will support you;
  • How to learn the language of the errors in thinking;
  • How to introduce your child to logging;
  • Creating rewards through feedback systems;
  • Discussing the “Most Serious Crime essay with your child, giving feedback, and getting input from others on the team.

And many other tools that will be helpful,as well. Importantly, the author tries to lift the painful burden of guilt and shame from parents who may feel they are responsible for the crimes of their children.

She counsels loved ones:

  • Your child has changed;
  • He has decided to break the law;
  • Your child has decided not to go to school;
  • He has decided to use drugs;
  • He no longer wants to live by your values.

You did the best you could do at the time:

  • Your decisions are not his decisions;
  • You did not tell him to skip school, commit crimes or use drugs;
  • You cannot be with this child every minute of his life to stop him from committing a crime;
  • Only he can stop his illegal behavior.

All sales proceeds for this work support the work of the Shea-Hellervik Global Foundation.

Purchase the book on Amazon.com

Recidivism Study of Hennepin County Home School Boy’s Alpha Program 1/1/86 to 6/1/87

Research conducted by University of Minnesota, Duluth intern in Criminal Justice Department with permission from the Hennepin County Juvenile Court to review offender’s records. Program descriptions and comments were written by Cay Shea Hellervik.

Executive Summary

In a study of 184 institutionalized male juvenile offenders one year after release from Hennepin County Home School (HCHS), 60 percent or 111 residents did not recidivate. The 184 offenders were retained in the study after dropping all offenders who spent less than half of the time for which they were committed due to illness, escape, or re-offending while in the program. The sample contained all males who were committed to HCHS Boy’s Alpha Program by the Hennepin County Juvenile Court. The lengths of the commitments were 90,120, or 180 days. All were serious offenders, but none were sex offenders. Sex offenders were treated in a sex offender program.
The study reports a statistically significant difference in recidivism was found between offenders treated for 180 days in an experimental program versus a control group. The control group was a milieu program; the experimental group was in a cognitive behavioral program. The difference between the two program groups, however was not statistically significant for youth committed for 90-day or 120-day treatment periods.

Other variables that were statistically measured and compared to success rates in both the control and experimental group were the following: (1) age at first adjudication, (2) neighborhood from which the offender came, (3) parent’s marital status/race, and (4) a measure of reading skills.

Q. Is this book only for parents?
A. No, this book was written for parents, because they have such a painful life when their child is a criminal; but, all of the techniques, language, etc., is based on the author’s experience while working inside of an institution/prison for male offenders. Therefore, it is highly recommended for professionals who work inside of an institution or program for juvenile offenders.
Q. Do you really think parents can help offenders at home or do you think these offenders need to be in an institution?
A. It really depends on the offender. I believe parent can make this work at home if and when the offender is ready and/or wants to change. That opportunity does present its self from time to time. When an offender is discouraged and things are not going well, the offender may open himself to the parents intervention. Timing is of essence. If the child is violent at home, they need to be removed to a safe place.
Q. Why do parents like this book?
A. It puts them back in relationship with their son. Once they learn and understand the errors in thinking and teach them to their son, they sense a common ground and so does their son. They can speak the same language. And the offender feel understood.
Q. How do parents come to realize their kids criminal behavior is not their own fault?
A. They decide. They know in their hearts they were not perfect, but who is? They accept that parents make mistakes, and no matter how bad, they release themselves from the guild and shame that comes with blaming themselves, and know that they did the best they could at the time. They realize that blaming themselves and wallowing in pity does no one any good, it keeps them from becoming productive, and stalls giving real help to their child and all
Q. How important is it that the offender logs or writes down this thinking?
A. Absolutely essential. The offender must be able to recognize and identify his own errors in thing, and if he doesn’t he can’t change them and will continue to act on these errors and will most likely find it impossible to change.